Let me tell you a story. It’s called Facing Grace. Actually, it’s a story about me.
It was about the time I reached 45 years old. My body seemed to have shifted overnight and what always appeared beautiful was now sagging, wrinkling, and drying up. My inspiration was tired, and my bones got crackly, my joints didn’t move as quickly. They weren’t slippery. My temper became short, my focus dulled, and my attitude changed quickly. My intuition felt irrational and with so much going on with my hormones, it was all I could do to face this change while staying grounded and productive. I wanted to sleep all the time and inflammation in my body increased due to years of wear and tear.
Women are not properly supported for this phase of life in our culture unless we actively seek it out. For me it all happened so quickly. I was not prepared for this and took a lot for granted in regards women’s health. I felt I was going crazy. A big lesson during this time was about grief and remorse. I began to decipher what I could ‘do over’ and what I could never ‘do over’. A true sculpting of character!
I had a hard time accepting these changes because I had always been beautiful and fit and so full of life. I chose to set on a mission to take all that I’ve learned in my 20 years of health and wellness and get as serious as I could to reverse what was going on with me 100%, the mood changes, crazy emotional swings, sharpness, impatience, difficulty sleeping, pelvic pain, migraines and heart palpitations. This commitment led me to retreat to get a sense of new footing.
This is what brought me face to face with Grace.
For years I told my students that “surrender is an active process” now I got to fully adopt it for myself. In doing so I gained access to grace within me. My head and my heart had moments of coherence. Just enough to keep me grateful.
I am happy to say it is now 7 years later and so much has happened in my life! Aside from getting a little older, kids moving away, relocating, getting married, my father passing away and my mother aging and needing more care. I must say I have not yet had 100% integrity with following protocols, but I have made huge progress. Applying tools of wellness and rejuvenation has led me to passion, inspiration and a new sense of vigor in life.
My body feels so much better, and I recognize it is not the same body. My skin is brighter, has less wrinkles and aging spots. I also recognize it is not the same skin as it used to be. Sometimes I think my eyesight is getting better too and I recognize even my eyes are not the same eyes as they used to be.
Coming face to face with grace and surrendering to her Will enabled me to soften my head in conjunction with my heart and embrace my humanity.
I really love this quote from Ezekiel, “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.” This was my journey to the other side; my rights of passage to claiming my Wise Woman, and since my outcome has not yet been fully revealed, I get to participate with all my new features. This is my new excitement for life!
Most of all this is a time to GET REAL. Speak your truth skillfully and BE FULLY SELF EXPRESSED.
You don’t get to have a Do Over. This is it.
Karen Barbarick-Collins is a Certified Ayurvedic Technician and Registered Yoga Alliance Teacher. She is the founder of Bending Blade Healing Arts.